I have had to deal with depression, and self harm issues. It was a terrible time for me, and I really didn't see a future for myself at the time. I felt completely helpless.It was hard getting through it, but I think the only way is to get yourself help. Everyone needs help sometimes and it's ok. My advice for other perople stuggling with self harm/depression issues is to speak up about it and ask for help.
Sunday, 9 April 2017
Dealing With Danger... Responsibly
I believe my story is mostly targeted for guys, about learning to deal with danger responsibly. Living in the UAE, we are fortunate enough to be able to call ourselves in absolute safety. We stand close to no risk of being kidnapped, robbed, or beaten up. While this is undoubtedly a blessing for any parents raising their children, for the children themselves – especially teenagers like myself – this absolute lack of danger can be suffocating, challenging us to take risks that defy common sense. My “experience” happened last year, and gave me a glimpse of the reality we are (rightly) shielded from. I was hanging out on the beach relatively late at night with a dozen friends, chatting about life, the universe and everything, when a bunch of 10-year olds came over to annoy us. Finding this really funny, a couple of my friends took to chasing the screaming children away. Turns out, one of them had his big brother just further down the beach with his gang, and told him that he and his friends had been chased by some really creepy guys so can you please oh please go beat them up? After that, things started happening very quickly. The gang in question was around 20 guys roughly our age; either 15, 16 or 17. They were also all in questionable states of intoxication. The air was tense, and everyone was on edge. All my guy friends felt it; they were challenging us, and we wanted to respond, to fight back, to prove ourselves. We still did, half an hour later, as we were frantically catching taxis and going home. But that’s not how it worked out. In the end, one of the girls in our group knew a guy in the other group, and thus nerves were soothed and biceps were un-flexed, as my friends nonchalantly packed our stuff and slipped away. Then we all ran. Afterwards, we all agreed we had achieved the most favourable outcome. We had slipped away without the slightest injury, and now had a good story to tell our other friends. The truth is: When things begin getting dangerous, it’s okay to run away. Don’t let the illusion of grandeur, that desire for danger ruin your life and health. If we had fought that night, we could have come out with broken noses, internal bleeding, broken bones, and possibly injuries to handicap us for years to come. Also, just ignore annoying little kids.
Self-esteem
When I was young I never believed in myself. I never had a positive attitude. Although others around me saw me as a bundle of joy, deep down I would just hide all of my emotions. I hoped all the bad I felt, all the sadness in me would just disentegrate. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. I would drown in my tears over so many different things. One day I saw this girl on Instagram/Twitter & the way she was, was just SO positive & I thought "THAT is how I want to be." So I strived for it. I saw the good in bad situations & I kept my head up high. It took time, it didn't happen right away. But now I can easily see how much I have grown and how strong I have gotten. My advice to you is keep going. It takes time to be comfortable in your own skin & I know that for sure. Give yourself some credit :) You'll be who you want to be eventually. Be comfortable with who you are because once you 100% accept yourself.. IT IS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD. You feel indestructible.
Friendships
Having grown up in a small home over in Portland from when I was 1 year-old to 4 years-old, and then moving over to Beaverton at the age of 5, I didn't necessarily have a lot of connections or friendships that I made or kept. I was isolated heavily, because of my culture. In fact I hadn't fully learned English until the 2nd grade. Not very many people liked us, my family. Going into kindergarten, I had only one friend, out of the 30 or so that were in my class. I tried to talk to others, but it was hard because of the lack of language I knew, and also because of the behavior that grew on me because of not being able to make, and hold, more friendships. Because nobody else wanted to be my friend, I decided that I would very much make it clear, that I don't want to be theirs. So, I misbehaved, I did things to prove my worth, or at least believe, that I'd be proving my worth. When I had the chance, I'd talk badly about others. I'd shove them, hurt them. If somebody had a challenge, I'd take it. I'd just try to make myself look better than everyone else. I never understood how it was, how it truly was, to come by friendships at the time. I just wanted to fit in, so badly. Everyone should stay unique, there's nothing you should ever hate about yourself, and also turn that into hatred towards others. When you look at yourself don't call yourself nothing, look into a mirror, and tell yourself you're strong, and mean it. Believe it. But that does not mean you should ever go around boasting about how strong you are, but instead better yourself and others by trusting in yourself, in your ability, to do things your way.
Friendships and Self Worth
Ever since 6th grade started I've had this image engraved in my mind saying that I have to meet everyone's expectations in order to be make friends. Throughout 7th grade this worked, I forced myself to cope with everyone's ideas and be positive about everything, this got me all the friends in the world, but I was not happy. In 8th grade I started to see the world more realisticly, some of my friends started pushing me away and no matter how hard I tried my 'good' wasn't good enough for them. So I slowy taught myself how to care less about the people who didn't care about me. I gradually became a lot happier as I found who my true friends were without having to fake my personality and do everything they say. I stayed away from 'toxic people'. I still smiled whenever they're around, say hi when they pass me in the halls, I even offer to buy them lunch sometimes but if they continue to push me away that's their problem not mine :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)